


Of Pirates and Princesses

by soongtypeprincess



Series: Married Coppers [23]
Category: Life on Mars (UK)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Parents, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Family Fluff, Gay Coppers from the 1970s, Gen, Halloween, Halloween Costumes, Happy, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-08-11 05:40:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16469813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soongtypeprincess/pseuds/soongtypeprincess
Summary: Halloween comes to Manchester and Ruthie gets to experience it for the first time.





	Of Pirates and Princesses

**Author's Note:**

> EEK a Halloween fic! I try to do one for every new fandom I'm in. Enjoy!
> 
> I DON'T OWN THE CANON LIFE ON MARS CHARACTERS!!

Gene entered his home to the sound of his two-year old screaming. Ruthie ran to him and grabbed one of his legs. 

Big tears streamed down her red cheeks, and he immediately picked her up. 

“What’s wrong, baby?” he asked her, his heart beating hard in his chest. “Are you hurt? Where’s Daddy?”

“Papa!” she screeched into the crook his neck, hiding her face. “Daddy mean!”

“Daddy’s mean?” he said. “What did he do?”

She lifted her head and pointed to the kitchen. “Outside…” she whimpered. “Daddy...he hurt.”

Gene’s eyes widened with horror. “Daddy’s hurt?” 

Ruthie screamed, “No, he hurt!” and hid her face in his neck again, gripping at one of the lapels of his camel coat. 

Gene threw his car keys onto the side table by the sofa and rushed through into the kitchen and out of the open door that led to the back deck.

He found Sam sitting there, newspaper strewn around him and the orange, stringy innards of Ruthie’s first pumpkin were heaped in a messy pile. 

Gene sighed with relief and patted his girl’s back. “Baby, it’s a pumpkin. Daddy’s just carving it for Halloween.”

She shook her head. “Daddy he hurt it!” 

He looked at Sam, who smirked at him. “She was just fine, Guv,” he explained, “until I started pulling out the seeds. Then, she ran away crying.”

Gene pursed his lips to try to hold back a giggle, but Sam frowned. “I’ve traumatized her.”

“Jesus, Sammy,” Gene laughed, rolling his eyes. “She’ll get over it.” He rubbed Ruthie’s back again. “Baby, look.”

Slowly, Ruthie obeyed and looked down at the mutilated pumpkin, the pumpkin that her Daddy let her pick out at the community center’s pumpkin patch, the one that was the biggest and prettiest she had ever seen. She didn’t know that her own Daddy had plans of ripping it apart!

“Sweetie,” Gene said in a gentle voice. “The pumpkin doesn’t feel anything. And Daddy is making it look better.”

She wiped one of her eyes with the back of her hand and sniffed. “Not hurt?”

“No, love. See, every Halloween night, you have to carve a pumpkin. That means you give him a face.”

“Happy?” she asked, becoming calmer.

“Yeah, it can have a happy face, if you want,” Gene said.

“And then we put a candle inside it,” Sam added, “so that everyone that goes by our house can see his happy face.”

“Oh…” she sighed. “Daddy not mean?”

“Well, I don’t know about that,” Gene quipped.

“Guv.”

Gene laughed and kissed Ruthie’s wet cheek. “No, Mouse. Daddy’s not being mean.” He wiped away the rest of her tears with his gloved hand. “You want to watch him give him a happy face?” She nodded and he set her down onto the deck. “Sit still next to him so he can give him the best face. Papa’s going to fix up your costume.”

“You got a hat, Guv?” Sam asked, smiling.

“And the wand,” Gene assured. “She’s going to look right sharp tonight.” 

 

\-----------------------

 

Annie straightened her witch hat and rang the doorbell. She adjusted her fake chin mole once more and the door slowly creaked open.

The sitting room was quite dark when she entered the house. “Hello?” she called out, half grinning. “Guv? Sam? Is this a prank because you know how I feel about--”

A startling roar sounded behind her and she shrieked as the front door slammed and someone grabbed her from behind and lifted her off the floor. One of her hands brushed against a plastic hook and she kicked her legs.

“Who  _ is _ this?” she screamed as she giggled.

“Argh!” growled the person still grasping her in their clutches. “This be One-Eyed Toothless Sammy Bilgewater, me wee lassie! And we’re hoistin’ ye to be the ship’s cook and wench!

“Sam! Oh my goodness!” Annie laughed. “Put me down!”

“There’s no escape, me beauty!” cried another voice coming down the stairs, holding what look like a cutlass in his right hand. “By order of Long Gene Silver!”

“Long Gene Silver?” Sam asked him, momentarily breaking character. “Very original, Guv.”

Gene reached the bottom of the stairs and turned on the lights. “Enough of your lip, ye scallywag, or I’ll feed you to the sharks!”

“Can I be put down now?” Annie asked.

Sam quickly reclaimed his pirate character again. “You’ll be put down on the plank, dearie! Argh!”

Suddenly, there appeared from the kitchen a tiny girl in a WPC uniform, complete with a checkered bowler hat and shiny black shoes. She was also donning a pair of purple gossamer wings and holding a glowing wand.

“Stop!” she demanded, raising her wand. “Put Annie down!”

Annie’s shrieked again but with utter surprise and joy. “Ruthie! Oh, darling! You look amazing!”

Ruthie paused to smile and spin around to show off her wings, but then she pointed her wand at Sam. “Stop, Daddy!”

“No, sweetheart. Remember: I’m One Eyed Toothless Sammy Bilgewater,” he reminded her.

“Oh, yeah,” she whispered, and pointed her wand again. “Stop, One Eye Toofess Sam Bird Dogger!”

Gene let out a boisterous laugh, but then recovered and pointed his cutlass at her. “So! We meet again, Princess WPC Fairy! I thought we lost you at the Island of Misfit Toys!”

“Guv, that’s Christmas!”

“Whatever! We lost her on an island!”

Sam put down Annie and she backed away. She now had a good look at their costumes.

Sam was wearing a red, polka-dot bandana over his head and an eye-patch. He had darkened a few of his top teeth with black shoe polish, and was hiding his left hand with a plastic costume hook. He wore a long black leather coat with a red shirt and black trousers, but had apparently forgotten to buy boots as he was wearing a pair of red Chuck Taylors.

Gene had on the trademark pirate captain hat and wore leather gauntlets on his hands and a black coat. He had no eye patch but had drawn on a scar just across his left cheek. He had invested in a traditional puffy pirate shirt, but the slacks were his own and he was wearing his white loafers.

“I can’t believe what I’m seeing,” Annie giggled.

Ruthie raised her wand and aimed it at Sam. She brought it down, shouting “Pow!”

Sam gasped and clutched his stomach. “Argh! She got me, Captain! I’m a goner!” He plopped to the ground and rolled onto his back, letting his tongue hang out of the side of his mouth.

“Ham,” Annie whispered to him.

Even though Sam was “dead,” he grinned at her.

“You’ll pay for that, Princess!” Gene warned, pointing his sword at her still.

She turned her wand to him. “Pow!”

Gene clutched his chest. “Argh!”

“Zap!” 

He doubled over, dropping his plastic sword.

“Bang!”

“Ugh! You got me, Princess…” he groaned as he dropped to his knees, still clutching his chest. “We’ve had a good run, you and I...but...it’s off to Davey Jones’s locker for me, now. But, you’ll never find me treasure! It’s buried so deep, you’ll have to--”

“Could you just die already? It’s getting late,” Sam said, still lying on his back. “And you call  _ me _ a ‘ham,’” he muttered to Annie.

After Gene’s dramatic “death” of him twitching and writhing and then finally grunting out a final breath in his performance, Annie clapped her hands. 

“Bravo, loves,” she praised. “And Ruthie, my girl! You’re my hero!”

Ruthie rushed over to her, giggling, and they embraced.

Sam grunted as he got off the floor. “Right,” he said, dusting off his trousers with his unhooked hand. “Who’s ready to get sweets?”

“Me! Me!” Ruthie exclaimed, jumping up and down and making her purple wings flap. 

Sam turned to Gene, who remained on the floor. “Guv, come on,” he said, nudging him with his foot. “Gene, the curtain has drawn. Let’s go.”

Ruthie gasped and went over to him, placing a hand on his chest. “Papa?” she whimpered. “Okay, Papa?”

“BOO!” he yelled, making all three of them jump in fright.

Ruthie giggled and jumped up and down once more. “Funny Papa!” 

He groaned as he got to his feet, picking up his plastic sword and adjusting his captain’s hat. “Yeah, funny,” he agreed as he hunched his shoulders in a deep stretch. “I’m too old for this.”

 

\------------

 

After two hours of trick or treating, Ruthie and Gene, still in their costumes, lay on the floor taking inventory of her loot. 

He would present a sweet to her and ask if he could have it, but Ruthie was a bit hesitant.

Gene picked up a wrapped piece of blue taffy. “Can have this one?”

“No,” she simply replied.

He picked up a small bag of jelly worms. “Can I have these?”

“No.”

Two chocolate eyeballs. “These?”

“No.”

A square of caramel. “This?”

“No.”

Gene sighed and presented a Crunchie bar. “This one?”

She looked at the sweet and immediately nodded. “Yes.”

Sam giggled from the sofa, his arm around Annie who had taken off her witch hat and fake chin mole. “You know she doesn’t like Crunchie bars, love.”

Gene grinned at him and then asked Ruthie, “What can Daddy and Annie have?”

“Guv,” Annie said, “don’t pressure her into giving away her sweets. She’s worked hard for them.”

Sam took off his bandana and eye patch and sighed. “This was fun.”

“Aye, it was,” Annie agreed. “Nice pumpkin, by the way. Good to see one this year.”

Sam huffed. “Well, she was only two months old that first time, and then next year we didn’t get a pumpkin because that’s when Ruthie got ill with chicken pox.”

“Oh, yeah, poor thing. She missed out, eh?”

“Yeah.”

“So, this would be her official first Halloween?” Annie asked.

“Yeah,” Sam repeated. “I think it went well, don’t you?”

Annie motioned to the giant pile of candy that sat between Ruthie and Gene. “You tell me,” she said. “Adorable costume. I especially love the wings. Wish I had been issued wings.”

Sam giggled. “Well, she saw an old picture of you at the station and wanted to be Annie for Halloween.”

Annie felt herself blush. “Oh, my...you’re joking.”

“Hand to God, love,” Sam assured her. “She said ‘I want to be Annie!’ So, Gene helped scrape together her costume, brought the hat home today.”

“And the wings and wand?” Annie asked, smiling.

Sam shrugged. “She wanted to be a fairy princess, too, and Princess WPC Fairy was born.”

Ruthie suddenly stood up and approached them, and Sam leaned toward her. “What you got, baby girl?”

She smiled and handed him a bag of Maltesers and she gave Annie a bag of Jelly Babies.

“Oh, thank you, my darling,” Annie told her, kissing her cheek. “Did you have fun trick or treating?”

“Yeah,” she replied. “We go tomorrow?”

They all laughed and Sam explained, “No, sweetpea. We have to wait until next year.”

“I wear this?” she asked, looking down at her costume.

“Next year? You can, if you want.”

“No...school.”

“Ehh, no baby,” Sam said. “Not at school.”

“Why?” she whined. “I wear every day.”

“You can wear it on the weekends,” Gene told her, still categorizing her sweets. 

“To the shoppes?” she asked, shaking her fairy wings. 

“Why not?” Gene said. “I’m going to do all me shopping in this hat from now on.”

“You certainly will not,” Sam scolded. 

Gene looked at him and sneered. “Oi, Sam. You’ve got something in your teeth.”

“What?” Sam stuck a finger on one of his teeth and drew it back to find it stained with black shoe polish. “Oh, bloody hell…” he muttered. “I forgot about me teeth. Excuse me.”

Gene and Annie laughed as Sam rushed up the stairs and into the lavatory.


End file.
